A Loving Farewell to My Father

This originally published on January 10, 2022, as a Viet World Kitchen newsletter. I’m including it in Pass the Fish Sauce because I want to include my dad in this publication. He enjoyed tech.

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Dear friend,

I hope you had an enjoyable and healthful holiday season. I’ve been delayed in sending you New Year wishes because we had sad news in our family. After a long battle with cancer, my dad peacefully passed away on December 30. He was at home with my mom at his side. Our family had enjoyed a long goodbye with him but the loss hurts nevertheless. 

My father, born Gabriel Nguyễn Quốc Hoàng and whom I often referred to as Bố Già (“Old Daddy”), lived a remarkable long life. We recently celebrated his 91st birthday and I often think of all the things he witnessed and experienced in the 20th and 21st centuries. Dad’s life spanned the Pacific, from North to South Vietnam to Southern California. He experienced the Vietnam War from the inside and successfully led our family to escape the terrors of the Communist takeover of his homeland.

He was an avid supporter of my work and subscribed to my weekly and monthly newsletters. He wrote congratulatory notes to me after reading something he liked a lot. He answered my questions about Vietnamese history and culture with deep dives, Googling all kinds of information that he sent my way. 

A while back, I shared an essay about how he taught me to enjoy food and drink from an early age. We goofed around a lot when I was young. He read “Secret Meals with Dad . . .” and said little. Dad was proud but full of humility too. My mom loved the essay and directly told me so. As part of the essay, I shared Bo Gia’s recipe for rice porridge with gingery fish on the website as well as in my first book, Into the Vietnamese Kitchen. 

The past two years have been marked by loss, and it seems hard to escape it in conversation. Getting to know a new dental hygienist, Karla, we shared our grief in between my opening and closing my mouth. During the conversation she realized that she subscribed to the VWK newsletter, at which point we segued into cooking and cookbooks. 

Karla shared a favorite for Crispy Roasted New Potatoes: Put new potatoes into a shallow microwavable bowl with about 1/2 inch water. Microwave cook for 10 minutes, or until the potatoes are soft. Smash the potatoes and season them however you like. Heat the oven to 450F and remove the lower rack. Put the potatoes on a baking sheet and bake on the floor of the oven for 30 to 45 minutes, flipping over after 15 to 20 minutes, until crispy and browned. 

We’re preparing for funeral services this week and I have not had the chance to try Karla’s recipe. But her method for microwaving and blasting the taters with bottom oven heat sounds super interesting and fun.

No matter how blue you may feel, food can bring you up. 

Despite my loss, I know that my father will always be with me. It’s been a treat to have had Bố Già as part of the VWK community. He's been featured in many blog posts over the years. His curiosity and love of culture and language will stay with me forever.